Disgaea - Empty Throne

{I honestly dont know what to say, but seeing as your guys pretty much just let everything out now. I was depressed today,I had that feeling of deadness inside of me that just nagged at me all day thats why i didnt SEEM happy, because i wasnt for once i had the most negative outlook on the world today and all i wanted to do in dissolve into my little world of the internet and books and games, I did want to see you today RayRay and i did want to see you today Anthony, just not as much as the previous days. What i really think is wrong with me is what has been nagging at me since Me and RAy got together, I want to visit her in person and just knowing that is the ONE THING i cannot do yet. I guess its killing me inside right now. tomorrow ill be happier i promise}

(Anthony, Its not me you should worry about, I am very sensitive and i get hurt very easily. But i don't show it and sometimes it just comes out. I know how you feel, Ashley used to be everything to me, she was like my sister, but Like Jade and ReRe i feel like we're splitting apart as well(me and Ashley). But I bet I'll see her again and i doubt we'll fully lose touch even though we go to different schools..
And I don't want any of us losing touch at all. And Anthony if you want the dang truth and i'm not going to hold back, your not a shyte rp'er i just can't stand how you rp sometimes but thats what i was trying to change without telling you, its not you, you have a style/a way and you like it, who am i to go aaginst it?
My parents argue too and i'm pretty sure with all thats coming up in my life i won't be on as much anymore. I have to get a job, i still have school 8 hours a day and my parents want me to work from 3(after school) to 9. And all that gives me is an hour to do homework.
And my laptop still has to be taken in and replaced. I don't want to lose contact with you guys but one or more days it might just happen but i'll be on after that.
And George, i'd like to know if your upset, i wish you were more open, i can't help if i don't know the problem....And to tell the truth i always(every day) think of you being here with me and how different it would be. I'd love it, the only thing i wouldn't love is the fact that my friends are incredibly rude to anyone they don't know and i just want you to feel comfortable when you come here, not feel like you're not wanted. I feel bad cause i can't do anything and with everything so far going on here i doubt i'll be able to do anything about it for a while. But i promise/know that day will come. To tell you truth it kills me to, but you just have to be positive and know that in the future it will happen. And I could tell yesterday you weren't really into seeing us and talking to us.
Ha i swear we're all on like Degrassi or something, there is so much drama but it has a good reason to all of us and as much as we/the others think its stupid its honestly not stupid to us.
Like my art, i tried drawing Cheria a lot...but i just lost it...its been about a year since i last drew her, i feel like i can't anymore.
So thats stupid but its important to me.
And Anthony i know one day, like Deviant Art, we will stop talking but it doesn't mean we can't try to get back together again, i'm doing my best to get my friends back but i fear they want nothing to do with me.
Well, i hope we're a bit happier today.
To tell the truth i had a very strange dream....well its a story, but in my dreams.
And its coming in segments.
The one i saw today had a girl(she was in it before) who hated me throughout middle school, she was the one who would start all the drama, but seeing her in my dream...as a GOOD person...was amazing.
The dream i remember the parts vaguely but its about how someone killed my parents, but my real parents are in the dream and i was adopted by them, my parents in the dream were killed by this man and i lived in my parents house with my cousin and the girl from my school. My real parents were also there and much more but we also had tourists touring my house since my parents died by an extreme murder.
And this part i remember in my dream..:
Female tourists in my parents room with my adopted(in rl real) mom, and my (real) cousin.
One of the tourists knocked somethings off the bed. It was a cut out of the sheets but the sheets were finely attached so i don't know were they came from.
Anyway, the tourists picked them up and i placed them where they orginally were.
"Why are they cut out?"
A tourist asked me but all i said was:
"Do you see they're not, but look.."
I placed a finger on each cut out(there was two):
"One is a flower and one is a heart....the symbol for love.." And i began crying.
The tourist said: "Oh i see."
Then i ran out of the room in tears and i screamed: "Mom finish the tour for me!"
And then i ran past the girl who hates me and she saw me crying and followed me and asked me what was wrong...and the whole dream just really made me think of something.
Like i guess i am happier to day.... a bit.
Sorry for the drama. And the random dream...)

[3 til 9? That sucks...We wouldn't even get to see you during the week then...
I hope you don't have to get a job. I'm sorry about Jade and ReRe and Ashley. I know one day we might lose contact but I hope we don't, and that even when we do stop RP'ing, that doesn't end our friendship

As for Cheria, I'm sure you can draw her, you did draw her in human form after all. And yes, that dream is very strange, but typically for a Rachel dream has excessive murder XD *coughLizzieBordencough* so somehow with you that doesn't surprise me

And YES we are like Degrassi. In fact we should all move there so we can seee each other and make our lives a lot easier though technically harder, which would also be weird considering I'v finished school...Oh we'd work something out

As for your guys relationship, I know it's none of my buisiness, and I'v probably told you both this before, but I have a friend who I went on tour with to Israel back in 2006, and we went with some Israelies. She started dating one of them and 4 years later they're still together and one of the strongest couples I know, so I have faith in you guys. I know it's tough now but I just have this thing where I feel with you guys it will work out...maybe it's because I want it to for you guys, but still, it's the one bit of hope I refuse to let go of

And Rachel, if my RP style bothers you, you should tell me...I'd like to know what it is I do that you cant stand and were trying to change. Although you're right, I'm sure if we looked there would be stuff we didn't like about each other's RP styles

(Well yeah my dreams are always weird...lol and hav something with blood. But it was weird to me. As for my friends, we'll work something out...oh well.
And thanks, i hope it works out between me and George too..
And Ok if you want to know what i dislike about your style feel free to tell me what you dislike about mine:
1. You like your chars so attached to another, i think that should stop cause in real life that would never happen, like no one is going to be constantly near the other...
2. You pretty much always play the god guy. Try playing a bad guy withot your good char interfering, like in real life(i know its not real life) the bad guy does get away with stuff, the good guy ain't always there.
And thats pretty much it, there not major, cause i love your style its just those two i don't like...
So go ahead and tell me what you hate about mine.)

[See? Constructive criticism is good
I'll take those two things on board and try to work on them
Sadly my brain is dead right now so I can't think of anything but if you want me to when my brain is more active and we're RP'ing again (so I can pay attention to it) I will]

(Ok that will work. I'm kind of tired i just brushed my dog and got a full bag of his hair, he must be trying to grow in his winter coat.Lol)

[Lol
Can we get back to RP'ing? Pretty please?]

{CAFFFFIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENE CRASH!<----- what happened to me last night. Hey Guys}