Disgaea - Empty Throne

{Well i do enjoy books but i cant read for hours straight anymore it hurts my eyes so i stopped for the night/weekend and started to work on my story and ohhh thats why Shiloh disappeared}

"Really badly Juliet, I would stop at nothing for it except for the occasional saving my partner"

[Firstly I'm not reading a book and secondly ................................................................................................................]

(I know Anthony re my post I said: "Two YOU - meaning George. Not "YOU TWO" And Second i warned you about what i would do if characters got too close. So if i'm trying to stop it, don't complain to me.
And George I'm not trying to tell you what to do, you just seemed to be enjoying it and it seemed like you didn't want to have anything to do with me so i just got off.)

Juliet looked at him. "Uh thanks? And Ok...I'll keep helping you then.."
*...I really don't think i want the throne anymore..* She thought to herself.

[Firstly, Ok my bad
Secondly *Puts in videotape**Rewinds a while**Pauses on Lenny/Lightning/Exodus 2000 post and counting argument (which ended up never even being finished anyway)*
Wow...this feels strangely familiar to me...]

(Oh like Lenny and Lightning didn't annoy me? It/They did! Just because i ddin't say it doesn't mean it wasn't true.)

[Yeah well maybe you should because clearly I'm to fucking stupid to realise]

(You can't realize something i didn't show.)

{Well yeah lets cheer everyone up, im making my chapter two of The Asylum *Smiles hopefully*}

{Brb}

"Thanks" Geode said

"Welcome.."

(you didn't read my comment at all? Oh well its fine...)

{No i did i just didnt have a comment on it so i tried cheering you guys up}


"Now... lets find the demon that we came here for"

[Whatever
I'll spare you the pain of ever having to bother RP'ing with me again, though you'll no doubt jump for joy considering how much you never even liked RP'ing with me anyways]

(George i have nothing more to say. As for you Anthony i do not give up on you, but I want you to do what you want. Leave here if you want, but know you're always welcomed back.)

"And who is that?"

"I dunno"


{Well. er. Man im bad with words}

{I gtg for an hour or two

[And what would you do if I did leave?]

(..... And Anthony What would i do? I don't know, probably same as always?)

"Ok then.."

[Which is?]

(I don't know rp and write my story? Thats all i ever do.....not even right but whatever..)

[One last question...why is a Raven like a writing desk?]

(Don't know.)

[Neither do I...]

(I now remember one day....On Deviantart i threatened to leave.
My friend Jade said:
"You say this all the time, leave if you want just if you do never come back."
So Anthony I'm going to say this to you, I'm tired of you threatening to leave and i will no longer stand it. Leave if you want, just know your always welcomed back.)

[I cause drama. I threaten to leave. I threaten to kill myself. I'm a shyte RP'er. I can't write a story to save my life evidenced by the fact me and George are always asking you to wriste/post your stories, and same for you me to George yet no one ever asks for my story for good reason. I argue with you...a lot...So just answer me this...Why the hell do you even bother to put up with me?]

(Anthony I always used to ask for you to finsih your stories. And your not a bad rp'er you just rp a different way thats all. And I 'put up' with you becuase your my friend and i care. And if you tell me anything i just said is wrong i'm going to slap you. Anyway, i have never had confidence in myself and i always feel like the low one around here. Like the time i was being bullied by danielle, you two gave me the advice to ignore her...its relaly not easy...and its not what i wanted to hear. I had no idea what i wanted to hear but i wanted help from two relaly good friends of mine but i didn't get it...so i jsut gave up eventually and i hope she did too i don't pay much attention to her anymore.
Now sorry to be like all tired on you, but i'm exhausted and i want to go. George should be back soon so you can talk to him. To tell the truth i don't want to hide what i feel, I wait all day just to talk to you two, i stay home from a possibility from going to see ashley just to talk to you two and you know how it felt when i got on and George was just talking about a book and he rarely commented and he just didn't act like his normal self....like he didn't sound happy to see that we were on, and i felt like i was bothering him the entire time and i know how it feels when you're trying to do something and someone calls/talks/texts you and annoys you, you don't like it. And I didn't want to be a bother to him so i decided to get off chat so i wasn't that bother.
My point is, leave or stay do what you want. You're welcome back, but if you threaten to leave again, I will expect you to leave cause thats what you want to do. Now i'm going to go sleep now, i'm tired as hell and i'm pretty sure no one wants me on to bother them anyway. Not to make anyone feel bad but i feel horrible and since i'm dramatic, i'm going to tell you how it honestly feels like my heart is broken and i did cry while typing this. I'm not perfect no one is and I make such big deals out of little things, well get used to it, its going to happen. Anthony sleep on the decision, you want to leave or not? With DA i left but i had no choice there was a virus that crashed two of my computers and i couldn't stay around....now thats all coming back to me. No one is popular forever, my time came and went and if it comes again i'm damn lucky.
Now i'm going to stop annoying you and leave, bye and goodnight.)

[I do feel bad because whatever the exact reason or combination of reasons might be, I'll feel like the one who broke your heart, and I will never forgive myself for that even if you told me for the rest of your days that it was unbroken. As for making big deals, I do that plenty too. We have several things in common like that Rachel even though we argue a lot and I hate myself every time we argue and even more so like now when I know it's made you cry, I'll hate myself for days. I always remember all the bad and stupid things I'v ever done and I'll remember those and I reflect on my past and how I wish I could change things. I wish I could so I never argued with you and broke your heart

As for the Danielle thing, I know it sounds stupid, but sometimes we just might not have the right advice to give or the things you want to hear...I'm so sorry we couldn't help on that...I really am...
Now I'll tell you the truth as well. My relationship with my parents isn't perfect, none of ours are, but it got worse since I started RP'ing because they saw me during the summer stay up during the night to be with you guys and get some sleep during the morning and then wake up by early afternoon. I even remember once, right near the beginning, I missed an episode of Doctor Who just to be on with you guys, which for me was huge. I know it sounds stupid but I'm as dedicated to that show as you are your art. I get angsty if I miss it. So to have willingly missed it for you guys...it was big for me...I sit home doing whatever or go out shopping, go to lectures e.t.c...but really, all that is just to pass the time until 8pm rolls around and I get on my comp and wait for you and George to come on. You're two of, if not my closest friends and I love spending time on here and RP'ing with you (and slap me all you want but I am a shyte RP'er, end of story)

Honestly this is something that I'v been keeping in but Imma say it. I know it sounds stupid, but whenever I was in counselling and she would ask me about you guys as far as your relationship was concerned, I would always tell her I thought you'd be okay. that even though it was hard now, that was only temporary. We are all still young of course (some more than others). That soon enough you and George would meet, and you'd be happy together, a perfect couple. And in 5 years, maybe more, maybe less you'd get married, whatever and be together forever. But I never told her the one thing that always got to me was a thought...I'v always felt, especially in my teen years, that whenever I'v had a group of friends, they'v come and gone and then I'v lost contact with them, or at least I rarely see them. My first true group of friends I see maybe once a year now...I only see school friends if I pass them in the street. And my best group of friends when I was 16/17, I hardly if ever talk to most of them any more, see some of them a couple of times during the year if I get really lucky, even though some of them I told the stuff I told you and George...stuff I think for me means I really trust someone...

So I have this horrible thought in my head that when we stop RP'ing, and I know it's gonna happen (though tbh I do love the mental image I have of the three of us sitting at computers RP'ing aged 80) that when we stop RP'ing...we'll lose contact. And with some people, I hate it...but with you guys...I'd be lost without you. But you and George have each other, so I know you'll continue to talk/see each other...but I'm thousands of miles across an ocean, so it feels to me that I might lose you for good sometime, whether it's in 6 months, a year or more...or worse, less...that's something I never want...so when I start arguments and threaten to leave, all I do is shoot myself in the foot for thinking I'm bringing that day closer than ever...

I know it sounds so ridiculous, and I know things and people and time changes, but everytime I think of losing you two I just can't bear the thought...

Anyway, Imma go now too
Sorry for the essay...
Night]